dO-OVERS & APOLOGIZING
There's a lot of uncertainty right now. This can leave tensions high and we may find ourselves saying and doing things we regret.
We've all been there. Our kids have been running around all day and we're at our wits' end. We become impatient. We yell. We scream. And everyone is upset.
Often the people that end up receiving the worst of our behavior are the ones we love the most...our families. We get frustrated with children’s questions, energy levels, and behavior and we might say something we wish we could take back.
In our group sessions, we talk about offering our children a “do-over:" a chance to rewind what they have said or done -- to try again. Our kids are still learning, making mistakes, and growing. We can give them grace and a chance to take something back and try again. By modeling this behavior, not only are we showing them how to apologize, we are showing them that we are human and make mistakes too. This works with our partners, roommates, and extended family too! Here’s how we do this:
Sincere, Authentic Apologies
“I apologize. I did not handle that in a way I feel comfortable with.”
“I’m sorry. I would like a re-do.”|
“I didn’t share my feelings appropriately and I’m sorry.”
A Re-Do. Exactly As It Sounds
“Let me try that again.”
“I would like to say what I am feeling instead.”
“I wish I had said ‘I feel frustrated/angry/upset.”
“I’m having big feelings and I would like to communicate them more clearly.”
- 1 on 1 time with each individual child
- Family movie night
- Child-led play time
- Cooking together
- Warm eye contact
- Snugly reading time
- Connection. Love. Attachment.
Give grace to yourself, your children, your partner, and your quarantine-mates. This is a stressful situation with a steep learning curve and lots of stressors. You will be ok. Our children will be ok. It’s normal to have moments when you're not your best. We’re all in this together.
Borrowed with permission from Colleen Wiliknson/Trauma Informed Montessori on Instagram.
Amy Cooper, MS
Family Coach, The Family Center